Peace
Building Skills
(Bully
Behavior - part 1)
Lynne Namka, Ed. D. © 1996
So you
say you want a happier life?
You want things to go smoother for you?
You are angry and upset and don't know what to do about it?
Here's the scoop--learn peace building skills!
Learn exciting techniques to bring happiness into your life!
YES,
YOU CAN LEARN SKILLS TO ADD PEACE TO YOUR WORLD!
Let's
Learn About Bully Behavior
There is a
Ruff Tuff Part of each one of us, who represents our Bully Behavior
Part. This part can be hurtful to others. Bully Behavior is acting
in a mean way towards someone smaller or weaker. Bully Behavior
are things that you do or say to hurt others. Examples of Bully
Behavior are teasing to hurt someone, trying to frighten or control
someone or intimidating someone to do something that they do not
want to do. Calling someone a bully is Bully Behavior!
Why do
we hurt others? Bully Behavior is learned. People who need to
bully have usually been hurt or teased by others and they pass
this behavior on. Other reasons are for attention and not knowing
how to play in appropriate ways. Some people do Bully Behavior
when they are angry and throw their angry feelings out on others.
Often the
person who does Bully Behavior feels unwanted, unloved and insecure.
The person who hurts others through his words and actions may
feel good about making another person feel bad. He may feel
powerful for a short time when he teases or hurts someone else.
Later he may feel guilty and ashamed of what he did or he may
justify his behavior by thinking that the other person deserved
it.
Some people
who need to hurt others secretly feel bad inside. They are so
afraid of being seen as weak that they act tough. They are even
afraid to let themselves know about it. Their insides and outsides
do not match. They are unhappy on the inside and act tough on
the outside. They are like a toasted marshmallow--tough on the
outside but squishy and soft on the inside. Deep inside there
is a core of bad feelings so hidden away that they can't even
know about it. It's helpful to know about this part of ourself,
then we can make good choices.
Helper
Words to Help Me Stop My Bully Behavior:
- I watch
myself to listen for name calling and blaming words.
- I stop
my self from turning up my own heat with bully words.
- I can
feel good about stopping my own Bully Behavior
- I can
be responsible for everything I say and do.
- I feel
good about being a responsible person!
- I take
a chill pill when I am upset.
- I treat
others the way I want to be treated.
- I stop
my Bully Behavior.
- I feel
good about treating others with respect.
MAKING
PEACE IN MY WORLD
How do you
define peace? Other boys and girls, and men and women described
peace this way:
- Peace
is people talking together with a heart in between them. Child,
age 8.
- To have
peace, teach peace to learn it. Course In Miracles
- There
is no way to peace. Peace is the way. A. J. Muste
- Peace
is in the air everybody can have it nobody can steal it we
all can share it in the world. Peace is a special thought
or a special love or light or spark that we all share within
ourselves. If there way peace there would be no wars or fights
just a special love all over the world. Joel, age 11.
- Let
there be peace on earth and let it begin with me. popular
song
Why do you
think peace is necessary? How would our world be different if
everyone practiced peace?
What advice
would you give to grownups to get them to live peacefully?
Think of
great men and women in their own quest for personal and world
peace. Who are your heros that are peacemakers? How is our world
different because these people stood up to speak out for peace.
What have you done to bring a small or big amount of peace to
your home or school?
Activity:
Making an Enemy Your Friend: A senator once told President Lincoln
that he should get rid of his enemies by destroying them. Lincoln
said, I agree with you sir, and the best way to destroy an enemy
is to make him a friend. Have you ever befriended anyone who
seemed like an enemy and turned him into a friend?
President
Lincoln also said, We are about as happy as we allow ourselves
to be. This sentence could have been, We are about as peaceful
as we allow ourselves to be. Peace and being happy generally
go together.
If every
single person in the world did one small thing each day to build
peace, our world would be changed. What would you like to change
in the world? What could you do to bring peace? Draw a picture
of you and your peace plan.
Questions
I Can Ask My Self
When I Feel Threatened by Someone:
- Remember
I have choices.
- What
are my choices?
- Stop
and think. What do I need to do right now?
- I can
practice Bully Behavior or peace behavior.
- How
can I practice peace right now?
- What
can I do to feel good about making the choice for peace in
this situation?
Hint: Breathing
five times for peace helps you get you calm so you can think of
what to do.
MY
PLAN FOR PEACE
I PLEDGE TO BRING PEACE TO MY PART OF THE WORLD.
My
first step in building peace today is
_________________________________________
_________________________________________
Signed________________________
Breath
Works!
You can deep
breathe when you are scared. Breathing when you are frightened
gives you more oxygen in your body. Breathe for peace when you
feel stressed or threatened. Take five deep breaths for peace..
Fears are
not necessarily bad. A reasonable dose of fear helps keep us
away from things that might hurt us. Keeping ourselves caught
in fear thoughts makes us feel yucky and horrible inside.
What fear
would you like to catch and let go? What exciting way could
you catch a fear thought? What would you use to capture your
fear--a butterfly net, a Super Glue trap or Velcro? Where would
you like to store or throw away your fear thoughts?
Fear sometimes
gets smaller when you talk about it. Talk about your fear with
safe people. Write a story about your fear. Draw a picture about
it. Tear the picture in pieces and wad them up. Toss the pieces
of the fear into the waste basket. Send your fear to the dumpster.
Helper
Words
I breathe five
times for peace.
I breathe when someone threatens me.
When I feel frightened, I breathe long, deep breaths for peace.
Deep breathing puts me in control.
I'm in charge of what I do.
Breathing for peace helps me figure out what to do next.
I can make changes in my own behavior to add to peace.
I choose to practice peace!
I am a peace maker!
The first person I bring peace to is myself.
I work for peace in the world.
Human beings and all other living things should be treated with
respect!
More
on "Bully Behavior"
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