I LEARN ABOUT CUTOFFS!
Cutoffs are things that we tell ourselves that are not in
our best interests. They cut off your common sense. Cutoffs
tell us to break the rules or do harmful things. Your rational
thinking and common sense is cut off from remembering the
dangers of a particular action.
Here are some typical examples of Cutoffs used to talk one's
self out of doing what is best.
- I give up. I don't care, so I'll ____.
- I'll do it just this once.
- I'm bad. It doesn't matter.
- He/she doesn't care so I'll just ____.
- It's not fair. I deserve a break.
- He's been mean so I'll go ahead and ____.
Can you think of a time when you told yourself a Cutoff so you
could do something that wasn't good for you?
Cutoffs are used to justify doing something potentially
wrong for your. Emphasize how we all do Cutoffs to give ourself
permission to do risky or unhealthy behaviors. They happen
more often when we are tired or hurt or angry. Cutoffs also
occur to rationalize destructive behavior during times of
anger at adults or peers.
Ahhh, there is a Common Sense part of you that does know
what is best for you. The Common Sense part can cut off your
Cutoff. It says things to help you stay out of trouble.
Examples:
Jim is angry at his dad who yelled at him for not getting
his work done. Things have been getting worse between the
two of them for some time. He decides to sneak some of his
dad's tools.
Jim's Cutoff Part which encourages him to do something wrong.
This part says,
Oh go ahead. Your folks won't notice. Go ahead and do what
you want.
Jim's Common Sense Part that Makes Good Choices who says
Hey, wait a minute. Don't cut off your intelligent thinking
just because you feel lousy! You are upset now. Think about
the trouble you will get into.
Jean is being urged by her friends to start smoking. She
wants to be in with the crowd but remembers how upset her
family was when her grandfather died of lung cancer after
years of smoking. A part of her says, It doesn't matter. It
won't happen to you.
Stephanie is at the mall with some older girls with whom
she wants as friends. They ask her to steal a pair of earrings
from the jewelry store. She feels bad inside about stealing
but she wants their friendship. The Cutoff part of her says
Aw go ahead. Just once. Go ahead and do it.
Draw a picture of these stories showing the conflict in
Jim's, Jean's and Stephanie's head.
When you are tempted to do something that might get you
in big trouble, ask yourself:
Did I just use Cutoff talk? Stop and think. What is another
thing I could say?
Remember:
- Don't dig a trap for yourself that you can't climb out
of.
- Listen for any Cutoffs that may come up. You are in charge
of what you say and do.
- Observe how you feel when you are upset. That's the time
to be on the alert for cutoffs.
- Tell yourself, I can make intelligent decisions on my
own behalf. I can catch my cutoffs!
Helper Words:
- I just heard myself use a Cutoff. Wait a minute! Help,
Common Sense, help me!
- I'm doing myself in using Cutoffs. I'll change the channel
on my negative thoughts.
- Here I go again trying to convince myself that there
is no harm or danger.
- What am I talking myself into here? Whoa! Common sense,
give me some ideas.
- Come on. I know better than that. I don't have to listen
to my negative part .
- No! This doesn't fit for me. This is not who I am. I'm
in charge here!
- I discard my unhealthy behaviors. I throw old bad habits
in the trash.
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