Who Is The Only Person In the World Who Can Make You
Angry?
Lynne Namka, Ed. D. © l997
There Is Only One Person On The Face Of This Earth
That Has The Power To Make You Angry
That Person Is Yourself!
If the same mean thing happened to ten people, they
all would react differently. Some of the ten people would get
mad, some would get afraid, some would feel sad and some would
blow it off.
What makes the difference? Why do different people react
differently to the same event?
The difference is the personal history of the person and
how they have learned to deal with threat, stressors or loss.
As the early philosophers said, It s not what happens to you,
but how you deal with it that counts.
Anger is one emotion that people use to respond to threat,
stressors or loss. It can be a real threat, stressor or loss
or one that we make up in our mind. To be human is to be angry
some of the time. It is important not to make anger bad. Anger
like a hammer can be a tool for destruction or to build something.
Anger is a necessary part of being a human being. It has helped
us survive as a species.
It Is What We Do With Our Anger That Is Important.
- We can use anger to lash out at others and intimidate
them.
- We can turn it inward and beat ourselves up.
- We can use it to speak out with firmness increase our
self esteem.
- We can use it to correct a situation that is wrong.
All great social movements had their beginning in someone feeling
angry. Anger is a powerful tool for social change on a personal
and societal level. We can use our anger as a tool for change.
When we use anger in a positive way, self esteem increases.
Anger is a coping mechanism for dealing with some event
that threatens our body, property, self esteem, values of
what we hold near and dear or when we don t get our way.
So you are the only one who can make yourself angry. You
choose how you respond to events that upset you. What you
think about the event can determine whether you become angry
or not. Your thoughts and beliefs can make you angry. Your
negative self talk helps you hold onto your anger. Your positive
self talk can talk your own anger down.
Your Key to Anger Control
- Recognize:
- Thoughts = anger
- Accept:
- You control the thinking
- Choose:
- To pause and cool down
- To take down your inflammatory hot thoughts
- To breathe deeply and be in control of the situation
- To choose a higher level of anger response
- Monitor:
- Your level of arousal
- Other emotions that accompany or substitute for anger
- What you tell yourself to keep yourself caught in anger
- Learn:
- About how you react to when there are...
- Stressors to your body
- Risks to your property
- Threats to your self esteem (Being discounted, put down,
teased, rumors spread about you, things not going the way
you think they should etc.)
- Your values, what is important being trashed
So watch your thoughts. Learn what angers you. What do you
tell yourself to make yourself angry? What do you say to keep
yourself angry? You turn your anger up or down by your thoughts.
What calming statements do you say to let go of inflaming
thoughts? Make a list of your calming thoughts and carry them
with you.
It's All In Your Thoughts.
The Only Person Who Can Make You Angry Is Yourself!
And Likewise, You Are the Only Person Who Can Create
Peace of Mind!
It is OK to feel angry. It is not OK to hurt yourself
or others with your anger.
You can learn to separate the Big Deals from the Little
Deals.
Learn to contain your unnecessary anger. Let the small
stuff go.
Increase your self esteem by expressing your anger in
safe ways.
Understand your anger and use it in ways that are helpful
to you and others.
You don t have to hold onto your anger. You can learn
ways to let it go.
Change Your Angry Thoughts and You Change Your Life!
Make your life a study of yourself and learn to release
negativity that does not fit who you are or who you want to
be. Our ideas on this web page can help you learn to empower
yourself and release unnecessary anger.
Take Notes! This is Your Life We Are Talking About!
Your Learning To Balance Your Negative Emotions
Leads To A Happier, More Productive Life!
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