Does your
anger turn to yourself? Do you beat yourself up? Make a firm commitment
to stop being a victim by breaking into the victim talk to take
responsibility for your thoughts and actions. Monitor your language
to catch and interrupt yourself during pity parties. Change your
victim talk (I can't..., I never could..., I'm no good at.....
etc.) to language that affirms positive thinking. Decide what
you want and the type of person you want to become. Tap into your
longing to be whole. Decide what you will have to do to get it.
Break it down in small steps and start to work on the first step.
Place yourself
around positive people who are committed to growth and well
being. Invite your friends to confront you lovingly when you
get in the victim role. Learn to confront the critical voice
within that tells you that you are not worthy. This is the technique
of thought stoppage--you simply interrupt any negative inner
message. Discount the thought, yell "No!" at it and distract
yourself by getting into some other thought pattern. Tell yourself
that negative self talk is only old programming. You can be
very rude and interrupt these self- condemning voices but be
gentle with yourself.
Hold an
inner dialogue to determine how being a victim pays off for
you. Examine victim patterns in your parents and relatives.
Learn what hidden messages lie within about your not deserving
to be successful, healthy or have a loving relationship. Explore
these messages that sabotage your well being with a process
oriented therapist. Make a pact with yourself to be responsible
for choices that you make that affect your healing.
- I am
responsible for the victim thoughts which stay in my mind.
- I am
responsible for denying what I know to be true about myself.
- I am
responsible for the people with whom I surround myself.
- I am
responsible for remaining in victim beliefs.
- I let
my victim thoughts go.
- I affirm
that I am healthy and whole.
Say these
affirmations ten times daily. Write your own affirmations and
post them on your mirror, your car steering wheel, your computer,
sink, etc. Carry the affirmations in your pockets to take out
and read when you have a moment. Speak them out loud with authority.
Practice seeing yourself in a different light.
Turn your
life over to your Higher Power. Catch any beating yourself up
thoughts. Practice daily surrender on small things. Learn to
let go of that which you no longer need. Work your anger to
let it go.
Do It Differently!
Do Your
Life Differently
Whatever
it is that takes you down into victim thinking, change it!
Change
your life style to one that promotes physical, mental and spiritual
health.
Back to Angries Out
More For Grownups
