Want
to help your school cut down on bullying? The recent research
is finding that young people who turn to violence may have
been bullied themselves in the past. They feel bad about themselves
and try to hurt others and then feel superior. Children who
resort to violent acts often feel excluded by their peers.
They harbor fantasy thoughts of revenge which they sometimes
carry out.
Two
things you and your friends can initiate at your school that
are fairly simple to do and have little risk are Bus Stop
Buddies and The Swarm.
BUS
STOP BUDDIES
Drive
by any bus stop and you will see young people waiting for
a ride looking miserable as they are not included in any of
the groups that are standing around. Children who are left
out of the crowd at bus stops look awkward and uncomfortable.
Who
makes the rules about who talks to whom at bus stops? You
do! Why not include of everyone, rather than rejecting others
during the morning wait? All it takes is a smile, a hello
and some chit chat.
Those
of you in the "in groups" can change these rules by becoming
"Bus Stop Buddies" with everyone. It's no big deal, you are
not signing up to be their life long best friend or even hang
out with them during school breaks.
If
you feel you need to, you can even set your boundaries by
saying --"I'm trying an experiment to make bus waiting less
of a hassle by creating ‘Bus Stop Buddies.' It doesn't mean
that we will hang at school. Want to try it? Maybe Bus Stop
Buddies will catch on and spread to other bus stops."
Of
course, if the person is rude or crude, you can tell them
you don't appreciate that type of behavior in your buddies.
Just say something like, "Hey! If you want to hang out with
us at the bus stop, knock off the .............." Boundary
setting in a necessary skill to learn in friendships.
Who
knows? Befriending someone who needs a friendly smile early
morning may give a better start to your day and to theirs!
THE
SWARM
You and
your friends can make a big effect when you see someone being
bullied. You do ‘The Swarm! ‘ It goes like this. You notice
someone being picked on. If you stand and watch, you are giving
power to the bully. To break into the situation, ask your friends
if they want to swarm over and rescue the victim. All you have
to do is say, "Swarm?"
You gather
a group of people together like you are a swarm of bees coming
from a hive. Walk towards the victim and take his or her hand
or lock arms and pull them into your swarm. Leave with them
and pull them away from the ugly situation. Move to another
part of the play ground. The surprise element will defuse the
situation.
What fun
to see the look on the person who is bullying's face! This is
group power making a statement that people are to be treated
with respect.
Then if
you want, you can do a Second Swarm. You ask your fellow swarmers,
"Second Swarm?' If they agree, go back in a group to the person
who has been bullying and catch him or her up in the swarm!
And several of you say to that person, "No more of that stuff,
get it?" or something to let them know that mean behavior is
not acceptable at your school.
It's the
group energy of the swarm that scatters the bullying behavior.
People who try to intimidate others by mean words or actions
fall apart when they face a force bigger than their own. Band
together to make your school ground a safer place to be!
DO
YOUR PART TO PASS THESE IDEAS ON
Well, what
if you are not part of the "in group" but are the one being
excluded. Maybe you could copy this page and distribute it discretely
to people you think are compassionate and want to make a difference
at your school.
Try these
ideas at your school.
Now here
is another web site that features ideas on stopping bullying:
www.bullying.org is a
website to help young people help each other re. the issues
of bullying and teasing.
The students
that have helped develop the project wanted to use the power
of the Internet to let their peers know that young people dealing
with the issues of bullying and teasing "Are NOT alone. That
being bullied and teased is NOT their fault and that they CAN
do something about it!"
www.bullying.org
a project for kids by kids. Youth can contribute their personal
reflections, poems, music, drawings, photographs, and even films.
If you are
an adult working with kids, a school, a school board or other
organization that has already developed resources, programs
and expertise about the issues relating to bullying and teasing,
please contact us so that we may list this your information
to let others know where they can go for help or support on
our "Help" page which has been researched by our students.
The site
went online in April 2000. Already this site has submissions
from Canada, Bulgaria, Romania, Ghana and Sierra Leone! It is
being featured in an upcoming television documentary about the
aftermath of the shootings in Littleton and Taber by the Canadian
Broadcasting Corporation.
www.bullying.org
is a project of IEARN-Canada and authored by William Belsey.
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