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Dr. Lynne Namka
Licensed Psychologist


I Stopped My Mad Attack!


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Dear Mrs. Mad lady

When i was little girl i always to get angries same from now. My mom and dad say "go to room to have timeout" and at school i was used have ea becaes i need help my work and hold my angries out but ea was watching me outside when i was little to gr.8 but now i will gr 10 this sept and ea is still watching me in gym to think not to get anger.

Now i can used the list to make me anger i can do:

Student activities:

  • Counting
  • Muscle relaxing
  • Writing assignments:
  • Handling anger book

Home assignments:

  • Draw picture or poster to what happen to get anger to pic up in room.
  • Read a story or find pic that show anger.
How controlling anger safely:
  • - keep your voice quiet and slow
  • - Think before you act and "Not" think to get anger before you act.
  • - Try focus and norm people
  • - Try good bulid without anger.
This is good for me to try help.


dear Mrs. Mads,

Hi my name is P. and I'm 14 years old even thought I'm a little older then most kids who write you I find that every once in a while I need to get the angries out too. at first I would throw big temper tantrums but since I realized this didn't help I learned to keep a journal and write my feelings and thoughts down where no one could see them but me. and of I was really angry I would write it down then tare it up. in doing this I have become a fairly good writer over the past few years since a lot of people give me the angries I used my journal quite a bit.

thank you for having this web site my little sister, A. 11, is very interested in the ways others deal with being angry.

yours truly, P.


dear mrs. mads,

i get mad a lot. i do a lot of the same things the 8 yr.old Angry Mon does. I have started doing what you say and it works. THANK YOU!!!! and i also find reading or running or karate helps.Music will calm me down for a while, also. Animals are great stress relievers.
~ACA~ 11 yrs old

u can put this on ur site if u wanna


Dear Mrs. Mads Lady,

Today my brother and me were playing outside and spraying each other with water. When he was trying to spray me he accidentally hit me in the head with the bucket. I got mad, turned around, raised my hand and was ready to hit him. I didn't though and my brother ran into the house crying because he was scared.

I felt really bad after my brother had ran into our house. I didn't want to hit him and I'm proud that I didn't but I still shouldn't have raised my arm.

I am 12 years old and I hope you reply.




Dear A. N. V.,

Congratulations! You stopped a mad attack in mid flight. You had the urge to respond to being hurt with aggression. Something better in your make up took over and you stopped yourself from hitting him.

Each time you stop your anger response or look for a better way to express your anger instead of hitting, you will grow in your ability to be in control of your anger.


The Lady Who Knows About Mads

When I get mad I go in my room. and ignore things The thing that makes me really mad is that James hurt me when I was little. I am still mad about it now.

p.s. from: J. G. 9 YEADS OLD


To start off I'd like to say that controlling your anger takes a lot of work, especially walking away from the situation. One of my favorite bible verses is found in James chapter one "My dear brothers and sisters always be willing to listen and slow to speak. Do not become angry easily, because anger will not help you live the right kind of life God wants"

From my experience the only reason you get mad in the first place is because your friend(s) or a bigger kid makes fun of you and teases. By then you feel the anger stirring up within you and you lash out and hurt him or her in anyway you can to let the angriness out. But instead of making you feel better it causes nothing but trouble. Besides that, because of what you did to that person (maybe it's a friend or someone you like) they won't trust you anymore.

Let me give an example. Let's say you were eating your lunch and the person you most dislike makes fun of you every day. They look over, tease and embarrass you and as they do you get so mad it builds up and then you get the nerve to go over and hit them. By then you are probably both in trouble. So you're probably wondering how to stop this. Well, where there's a will there's a way and I have a way.

First of all when feel that you're going to hit or even insult someone stop and remember that you have a choice. What I mean by that is you can ether one, hit them or two, decide to lay off. Another thing you can do is to take five deep breaths (or at least one) and let the air out. If either of these does not work try to move to a spot where they can't get you. If the problem persists tell an adult nearest you.

If you're wondering why you should follow these instructions it is all about making sure don't regret ever letting your anger get the best of you. So I'd advise you don't do what I did and get grounded for a week and have to write this essay. When you do get mad at someone remember too that people are special so treat him or her right.

Things to do if your mads are there: Remember don't take it out on people or the person you're mad at ether. When feeling really grumpy go to a place where you aren't by anybody and sit alone for a few minutes and think about good things. Here are some other things to try (From the Angries Out web site):

  • Remember, mads don't have to stay inside you. Talk to someone who can help you sort out the feelings that made you feel bad.
  • Draw lots of pictures about what makes you angry. Make big, colorful angry drawings. Make mad noises when you draw. BIG, MAD NOISES!
  • Put your pictures in the freezer to cool off those mads. Or let your refrigerator hold pictures of your mads.
  • Pound on clay or on pillows. Scream and yell and pull those mads out of your stomach. Let those mads run down your fists and into the pillow.
  • Go out in the back yard and dig a hole. (Or just pretend to dig in your living room.)
  • Pull all those mads up and out of you and put them down in the hole. Then cover them up with dirt and jump up and down, stomping on the mads. Put your mads in soap bubbles and blow them away. Watch those feelings float up to the sun and poof! Act out the story of your mads with dolls, stuffed animals or plastic dinosaurs.
  • Get permission to tear up an old magazine. Rip each page out, one by one as you make "big mad noises." Then throw those mad feelings away by putting all the pages in the trash.
  • Get permission to put your anger in a raw egg. Write the name of the person you are mad at on an egg. Go to a wide-open space and pull up all your mads to put in the egg. Throw your mads as far as you can and yell and scream ... "Aaaaagh!"
For further suggestions visit this website: Get Your ANGRIES Out And Those Mads, Bads and Grumpies at .



this is how I get my angries out. I sit in my bean bag chair grab a big thick chapter book and ignore all door rings, phone calls, and homework.

If that doesn't work I listen to Charlotte Church or talk to my stuffed animals. Charlotte Church is a classical singer. She has two CD's out, Voice of an Angel and Jewel.

Cured Angries Person,
M.O., Age 9


Dear M. O.,

Good for you that you have figured out what helps with your mads. At age nine, you are very clever to figure this out. As you grow older, you may need to figure out new and different things to do with anger.

I hope other boys and girls write in and tell us how they gets their mads out.


The Lady Who Knows About Mads

Dear lady,

at school one day my friends were playing keep away from me! i don't like it when they play that with me always in the middle. i got so frustrated i wanted to scream but i knew that would not solve anything. so i went inside to the rest room and wet my face, took a deep breath, and held my breath for as long as i could without feeling out of breath. i felt so much better. then went back outside and played jump rope. and from now on i always do that when i am mad or frustrated. and it works signed,

helped anger


Dear helped anger,

You figured it out! People tease you only if you agree to be teased!

You took a time out from the "keep way" game and gave them a message that you won't keep yourself in a situation where people are being mean to you. What they did was not a fair game. It was having laughs at your expense.

Sometimes the best thing to do is to pick up your marbles and go home!

The Lady Who Knows About Mads

Dear Mrs. Mads Out,

I tear up old newspaper when I get mad. It makes me feel better, and I don't get in trouble for making a mess because I always clean it up.

M. M.
10 yrs.


Hi M. M.,

Good for you in finding a way to release your anger in a safe way. I hope you learn to talk about your "mads" as well as tearing up newspapers.


The Lady Who Knows About Mads

Dear Mrs. Mad Lady,

I wrote on a piece of paper to Abriel and said that it didn't bother me anymore that she called me "dent head". Since then, she has not called me names anymore.

B. J.


Dear B. J.,

When we stop giving people power over us, their teasing doesn't work. You are in charge of whether you let mean words hurt you or not! You learned to stop taking "denthead" into yourself and letting it hurt you. You got it!


The Lady Who Knows About Mads

Dear Lady who knows about mads,

I am but 14 years of age, and I have the shortest temper you could ever come along. I am lucky to have friends who understand this, and stay by my side. But, for a long time, they would say something offensive and I would get so mad, or they would say something and I'd take it wrong. (I don't get violent when mad.)

Lately, I've been telling myself in my head "Get over it, Tink." There is nothing to be mad about!" and it's working.

Are there any more suggestions you might have?

Thank you,



Dear Tink,

Congratulations. There comes some times in a person s life when they are ready for a bout of growing up. This is the time for you now. That is wonderful. :) :) :)

Read all the pages listed under Grownups on my web site. Be sure to read Young Women Who Are Angry. Read This Page. Young Men Too.

Then go to I Stop My Bully Behavior listed under Kids and read that and take notes on what ideas would help you keep your cool. Put those Helper Words ideas on yellow sticky notes and paste them around your office or house!

Remember, we are as mature as we are willing to be responsible for all our thoughts, words and actions. You sound as if you are ready for a growth spurt in maturity! Go for it!


The Lady Who Knows About Mads

Dear Mrs. Mads,

i sit in my room with a good book. not speaking to people helps.

you can post this on your excellent web site.


Dear Anger Management Lady,

I was mad at my friend in my class. I was ready to yell really loud at her, but I held my anger in and gave her an "I" message. I told her how I felt and we talked for a bit. I said if this keeps going on maybe we need a few days off from each other. I told her if she keeps making me mad maybe we shouldn't be friends anymore. She is still making me mad but I'm going to keep telling her how I feel. I am female, 9 years old in third grade and she has been bothering me since first grade.

O. R.




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Lynne Namka