How A Child Changes!
Seven Steps To Freedom
Lynne Namka, Ed. D. © l997
How does a child make the decision to make changes
in his aggressive behavior? First, someone has to believe in
his ability to change. Your belief in the best that is the child
is the magical ingredient in helping him see himself differently.
Teaching him alternatives to handle conflict will give choices
in future situations.
Here are the steps to how a child works through the process
of change.
- 1. Recognize his own negative response to a problem. (Own
his behavior.)
- 2. Learn about new ways to respond to the problem.
- 3. Make the decision to stop acting in ways that hurt
others. (Feel good about making positive choices!)
- 4. Watch himself when conflict comes up again.
- 5. Use Helper Words to choose more healthy responses.
- 6. Practice the new responses. Fine tune them. PRACTICE,
PRACTICE, PRACTICE!
- 7. Reward himself by feeling good and using positive Helper
Words.
The process of change has been described as a five stage process
by researchers who examined how people overcome destructive
and addictive behaviors. The stages of changes are:
- 1. Pre-contemplation:
The young person is unaware or under aware of their problem
and does not intend to change.
- 2. Contemplation:
The child becomes aware of the problem and gives serious
thought about changing his behavior. This is the "Maybe I
should" stage.
- 3. Preparation:
The child begins to have strong intentions about change
for the future.
- 4. Action:
The child sets a standard and begins to modify his behavior
to overcome his problems.
- 5. Maintenance: The child works
keep his behavior to the standard that he has set. Much
recognition and reinforcement will be needed as the child
struggles to maintain his gains in positive behavior. Behavior
change will continue only if the environment encourages
and supports the child's efforts.
What You Can Do To Help Children Change
Continue your efforts to teach peace by showing children
the best that is in them. Positive correction techniques that
teach social skills and emphasize good self esteem are your
ace in the hole in helping children change their negative behavior.
The mark of distinction of a master teacher is helping children
believe in themselves and see themselves in positive ways.
Add your own imagination and creativity to use these positive
correction techniques. The Teacher Cues and Helper Words given
will show your children how to get along with each other and
build peace in our world. Your belief in a child's ability
to change is the most important factor!
Reference
Prochaska, J., DiClemente, C. Norcross, J. (1992) In search
of how people change. American Psychologist, 47, 1102-1114.
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