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Talk, Trust & Feel
Therapeutics
Dr. Lynne Namka
Licensed Psychologist
www.AngriesOut.com

 

Parents are Angry and Frustrated by the Economy Slowdown 

New Book to Help Children Deal with Parents’ Conflict

 

 

Today’s children are more in touch with angry feelings, but don’t know how to release them safely.

They feel helpless when overhearing family arguments and internalize anger. Children need skills to deal with parents’ frustration and arguments which are more frequent during this poor economy. Developing life skills such as talking about feelings and using self-regulatory skills of anger management is necessary for good self-esteem.  

Parents Fight, Parents Make Up:  Take Good Care of Yourself is the only book that teaches children how to: 

·         … take care of themselves when grownups argue.

·         …decrease confusion that adult fighting is their fault.

·         …decrease irrational fears of parents divorcing when they argue.

·         …use Helper Words to calm down.

·         decrease their own anger and unhappy feelings.

·         …break into anger that is a theme passed down in families

 

Excerpt from the Book

“Bang!  Justin slammed the door scowling as he headed out.  He wanted to get far, far away from the voices of his mom and dad which were getting louder and louder. He wished he could get in a time capsule and go at warp speed on a search and destroy mission. 

Bad news.  There was no time capsule to whisk Justin far, far away to a distant planet so he headed for his grandmother’s house.  Mom hadn’t been in her happy place for a week now and had grounded him from his video games.  Dad had been super cross lately.  When things started going down at his house Justin went over to his grandma’s house.

Grandma looked at Justin’s long face. “What’s wrong?  You look bummed out. Are you having one of those sad, mad, bad kind of days? Grandma had been a counselor and knew about feelings. “Hmmm.  Looks pretty serious,” said Grandma.  “I bet it’s those parents of yours.  Did they have another fight?  What are we going to do with them?”

“Yeah, it’s nuclear this time,” said Justin.

“Most families fight,” said Grandma.  “Some fight with words.  Some with their hands.  When people fight, everyone feels bad inside.  Let’s see what we can do to let those feelings go.  Do you want to play guess the feelings?”

Justin always wanted Grandma to guess.  It was more fun when she did the guessing.  She guessed, “Are you furious?”  Justin shook his head no. “Ashamed?  Bored?  Snarky?”

“No.  No.  No, not those feelings.”

“I bet you are feeling sad.  You’ve got a case of the sads today.  So go ahead and call that sad feeling out by its name,” said Grandma.

Justin nodded and said, “Sad.  Mom turns into the Wicked Witch of the West and gives Dad the death look.  Then he turns into the Green Hulk and starts yelling. I feel sad.”

 “What else?  Feelings usually hang out together.  They stack up on top of each other.  Look further and see what other feelings are hiding under the sads.”

He thought and thought.  “Yucky.”

“Bingo!  You named it.  Yucky feelings are the “bads.”  They like to hide somewhere in your body.  Find where they’re hiding.”

Justin looked to find the feelings.  It took a while because feelings are really good at hiding out.  He thought about why he was sad and his chest started to get tight and tense.  He said, “I found them.  They are buried in my chest and throat.”

Grandma beamed at him.  “You are so good at finding your feelings.  Call them out, feel them for a minute.  Feelings come and go.   Coming up and going away is their job.  Bad feelings always want to move out.”

Grandma talks to Justin about his dad’s anger that started as a young boy dealing with an angry father himself and then goes on to help Justin learn five things to do to release his bad feelings after witnessing his parents’ argument.

Review

 

“Thank you for the privilege of receiving your work on family violence. You are truly dynamic in your ability to integrate traditionally opposing viewpoints, approach offenders with a balance of compassion and accountability and clarify the complex patterns of thinking and behavior that contribute to aggression.  You’re no less than transformed my practice!”

 

Deena Stewart Mitzke, MA, USAC Counselor and Clinical Director of Domestic Violence Program

 

Parents Fight. Parents Make Up:  Take Good Care of Yourself                                                      $9.95

 Twosome           Quick Anger Make Over & Parents Fight Parents Make Up                              $25.95  

 

 



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