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Books & Curriculums
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Join
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Talk, Trust & Feel
Therapeutics
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Dr.
Lynne Namka
Licensed Psychologist
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www.AngriesOut.com
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Parents Get Mad Too!
Things to do instead of blowing your top and yelling
at your kid
- Remember, anger as an emotion is normal human behavior.
As a response, you have choices. Choose from the productive
expressions of anger. Tell yourself ... "It's OK to be angry.
I choose to use my anger constructively." Anger can be a
signal that something in your life needs changing. When
your personal resources are exhausted, you are more likely
to be angry. Plan alternative fun things for your child
to do when you are fatigued or ill.
- Check your own stomach, fists, and jaw. Observe how your
body starts to tense up and react automatically when you
feel threat. Know whn you are mad! Analyze your ownpatterns
of responding to anger; know what your typical anger response
is. Watch yourself as the heat starts to rise. Observing
yourself may help break into your regular anger response.
Break into your regular response pattern. Remember to breathe.
- Bite your tongue when the angry words start to arise.
Gently, of course, to remind yourself to inhibit your angry
verbal or striking-out response.
- Breathe deeply, then state your anger in a firm voice,
"I feel angry, when you____." Make this formula a habit
in your family by your using it often. If you have problems
saying it, practice on the dog or the mirror at first.
- Distract yourself for a short time before going into problem
solving by:
- Reciting the days of the week, months of the year
or counting to ten in a foreign language.
- Phone Dial a Joke, The Weather, the Daily Prayer or
Time.
- Take a walk or weed the garden
- Displace your anger by cleaning the house. Vacuum
while you cool down.
- Do a self-soothing exercise. Massage your arms and
neck. Hug yourself. Take a warm bath. Smell a flower.
Pet an animal. Hug a Teddy bear. As the National Committee
for Prevention of Child Abuse says, "Take time out.
Dont take it out on your kid!" Know it's okay to be
angry.
- Bypass a negative anger reaction by going directly into
problem solving. Don't try to fix blame. Determine what
is needed to correct the situation. Contribute to the solution,
not the problem.
- Call Parents Anonymous or a sympathetic friend. Make sure
your child realizes you are reaching out for help in anger
reduction not calling someone to blame him or her.
- If you continue to get angry at your child, seek professional
help or take a parent training group. Whatever the cost,
it is a bargain in providing stress reduction in your household.
Short term therapy often offers techniques to insure good
mental health for you and your child. The amount of money
and time you use in learning practical tools of communication
and discipline are an investment in your child's future.
This information is from the book, The Mad Family Gets Their
Mads Out ($9.95 +$3 s&h from Talk, Trust and Feel Therapeutics
* 1120 Buchanan Avenue * Charleston, IL 61920 * 217-345-2982)).
Text and illustrations are copyright 1995 Lynne Namka.
 MORE FOR PARENTS
Back To Angries
Out
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© 1996-2010
Talk, Trust and Feel Therapeutics.
All Rights Reserved
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