Get Mad Too!
Things to do instead
of blowing your top and yelling at your kid
© Lynne Namka, Ed. D.
anger as an emotion is normal human behavior. As a response,
you have choices. Choose from the productive expressions of
anger. Tell yourself ... "It's OK to be angry. I choose to
use my anger constructively." Anger can be a signal that something
in your life needs changing. When your personal resources
are exhausted, you are more likely to be angry. Plan alternative
fun things for your child to do when you are fatigued or ill.
your own stomach, fists, and jaw. Observe how your body starts
to tense up and react automatically when you feel threat.
Know whn you are mad! Analyze your ownpatterns of responding
to anger; know what your typical anger response is. Watch
yourself as the heat starts to rise. Observing yourself may
help break into your regular anger response. Break into your
regular response pattern. Remember to breathe.
your tongue when the angry words start to arise. Gently, of
course, to remind yourself to inhibit your angry verbal or
deeply, then state your anger in a firm voice, "I feel angry,
when you____." Make this formula a habit in your family by
your using it often. If you have problems saying it, practice
on the dog or the mirror at first.
yourself for a short time before going into problem solving
the days of the week, months of the year or counting to
ten in a foreign language.
Dial a Joke, The Weather, the Daily Prayer or Time.
a walk or weed the garden
your anger by cleaning the house. Vacuum while you cool
a self-soothing exercise. Massage your arms and neck.
Hug yourself. Take a warm bath. Smell a flower. Pet an
animal. Hug a Teddy bear. As the National Committee for
Prevention of Child Abuse says, "Take time out. Dont take
it out on your kid!" Know it's okay to be angry.
a negative anger reaction by going directly into problem solving.
Don't try to fix blame. Determine what is needed to correct
the situation. Contribute to the solution, not the problem.
Parents Anonymous or a sympathetic friend. Make sure your
child realizes you are reaching out for help in anger reduction
not calling someone to blame him or her.
- If you
continue to get angry at your child, seek professional help
or take a parent training group. Whatever the cost, it is
a bargain in providing stress reduction in your household.
Short term therapy often offers techniques to insure good
mental health for you and your child. The amount of money
and time you use in learning practical tools of communication
and discipline are an investment in your child's future.
To Angries Out
Talk, Trust and Feel Therapeutics.
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