Children have very definite ideas about whom they like as shown by the research on children's peer friendships. They are able to size up other children quickly and make definite decisions on which they want to play with. The research shows that peer networks that become identifiable in junior high school become more exclusive as students grow older. Girls were more connected to identified groups than boys. Children of minority groups are less invested in school activities and peer networks than the majority groups. Here are some of the typical names given to groups of students: Preppies (the GAP group), Jocks, Stoners, Obnoxious, Nerds, D. and D. (Dungeons and Dragons), Hippies, Cowboys, Watcho's (illegal aliens) and the Skaters. Ask any junior or senior high school student and they will describe a similar hierarchical organization and groups with similar names in their school.

A child's popularity with his peers is related to how he gets along with others and the sophistication of his social skills. Some children naturally are gifted in their ability to make friends. Other children have deficits in the very basic skills of friendship making. Some do not have a clue on how attract others to them and act in ways that maintain friendships. Considerable research has been conducted on how children view each other. Children fall into these categories:

Popular Children

l. Cooperative Children display helpfulness, rule conformity, friendliness, prosocial behavior, and a sense of humor. They start the play activities, remind others of the rules and set norms for behavior in difficult situations. They are considerate of others and do not need to retaliate when threatened. They are less often the target of other children's teasing and aggression as they have assertive skills. Cooperative behavior is more acceptable among girls than boys.

2. Controversial Children display a mixture of positive and negative traits. They can be leaders who are active in peer interaction. They are good at sports, play cooperatively most of the time and have a sense of humor. They have learned many positive skills but have deficits in controlling their anger. They are easily angered, aggressive and disruptive and are reprimanded often by adults. Their classmates generally admire them and their aggressiveness is often overlooked. Standing up for oneself when dealing with provoked aggression is related to popularity.

Rejected Children

1. Aggressive Children who are left out of playgroups seek attention in negative ways. They are often argumentative, impulsive and disruptive. Aggressive children engage in hitting, starting fights, rough and tumble activities and name-calling. They lack the skills to get along with others and inhibit impulsive actions. To the other children, they appear to be angry without cause. The child who is rejected by his peers may come to view the world as hostile. Presumption of hostility leads to an inability to generate positive solutions to problems and ultimately more aggressive behavior. As they grow up, aggressive children gravitate toward peer groups that foster prejudice and persecution of people who are perceived to be different. Revenge thoughts, and acting out with bullying and violence, give them a misguided sense of being in control.

2. Withdrawn Children are seen by their peers as neglected, passive and unhappy. They speak too softly, give in to others and their feelings are hurt easily. They lack the skills of assertiveness. They stand back and watch and pull back from playgroups and may be rebuffed if they attempt to join group activities. Most are not hostile to others but their perceptions that the world is hostile cause them to lose interest in school sponsored group activities. Solitary behavior such as being off task, dawdling or daydreaming is predictive of poor social acceptance. As anxious and insecure loners, they may turn to revenge preoccupations gain a sense of self-esteem that their peer group denies them.

Older low-status Controversial and Rejected children are more subtle and indirect in their aggressive interactions. Their peers considered them mean, hypersensitive to being teasing, violated rules, and unattractive in clothes and hygiene. They often become a target of peer ridicule and exclusion and have to passively endure the humiliation. Handling oneself inadequately in response to teasing and verbal bantering is related to low status in children.

Peers often become biased in their views of a child and make assumptions based on that bias. Once gained, reputations among one's peer group become hard to live down. Expectations of peers can cause a child to be locked in roles of acceptance or rejection. Having a negative peer reputation interferes with the child's ability to develop and maintain friendships.

Children who are disliked by others do not form bonds with others. Not having satisfying friendships, they often turn to antisocial behavior seeking activities that are stimulating to them. Children without friends often resort to alcohol and drug use and engage in gang behavior. Children who do not have a wide range of positive social skills to draw from to deal with stress become disconnected from positive values, and having high standards for one's behavior. They feel alienated from the higher concepts of respect for others, democracy and turn off to school activities.

School Violence Explained: Table of Contents

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