How does a child make the decision to make changes in his aggressive behavior? First, someone has to believe in his ability to change. Your belief in the best that is the child is the magical ingredient in helping him see himself differently. Teach him alternatives to handle conflict will give choices in future situations.

Here are the steps to how a child works through the process of change.

• 1. Recognize his own negative response to a problem. (Own his behavior.)
  
• 2. Learn about new ways to respond to the problem.
  
• 3. Make the decision to stop acting in ways that hurt others. (Feel good about making positive choices!)
  
• 4. Watch himself when conflict comes up again.
  
• 5. Use Helper Words to choose more healthy responses.
  
• 6. Practice the new responses. Fine-tune them. PRACTICE, PRACTICE, PRACTICE!
• 7. Reward himself by feeling good and using positive Helper Words. This process internalizes the self as a caring person.

The process of change has been described as a five-stage process by researchers who examined how people overcome destructive and addictive behaviors. The stages of changes that can be incorporated into teaching social skills are:

• 1. Precontemplation: The young person is unaware or under aware of their problem and does not intend to change.
  
• 2. Contemplation: The child becomes aware of the problem and gives serious thought about changing his behavior. This is the "Maybe I should" stage.
  
• 3. Preparation: The child begins to have strong intentions about change for the future.
  
• 4. Action: The child sets a standard and begins to modify his behavior to overcome his problems.
  
• 5. Maintenance: The child works keep his behavior to the standard that he has set. Much recognition and reinforcement will be needed as the child struggles to maintain his gains in positive behavior. Behavior change will continue only if the environment and the child's peers encourage and support the child's efforts.

School Violence Explained: Table of Contents

Download all 50 pages in .rtf format