Peace Building Skills

Lynne Namka, Ed. D. (C) l996

So you say you want a happier life?
You want things to go smoother for you?
You are angry and upset and don t know what to do about it?
Here's the scoop--learn peace building skills!
Learn exciting techniques to bring happiness into your life!

YES, YOU CAN LEARN SKILLS TO ADD PEACE TO YOUR WORLD!

  1. Helper Words:
  2. The Most Important Things to Remember about Getting Mad

HOW DO YOU GO ABOUT ADDING PEACE TO YOUR LIFE?

Learn the positive social skills of compassion, self esteem, caring, love, forgiveness, humor and tolerance. Boys and girls who know positive social skills can handle conflict and violence. Practice and repetition of these skills will help you empower yourself.

What helps you learn these skills?

PUT POSITIVE HELPER WORDS IN YOUR BRAIN!

Helper Words are self talk statements you say to yourself when you are upset. Helper Words sentences are those things we tell ourselves to remind us of how we can act to build peace. Positive messages of self talk build peace by giving us alternatives to hurting others.

These Helper Words help you remember positive ways of dealing with conflict. Knowing positive actions to take when we are threatened makes us feel more peaceful! Helper Words help you problem solve and figure out the best thing to do.

These are angry times. Some people do not know how to deal with their anger. Remember, the superior person has more alternatives from which to choose. You can learn positive things to do when you get upset and angry. Helper Words give you more choices.

What each of us can do is learn about the part of us that is hurtful to others or to ourselves. These ideas you help you learn to stand tall and be powerful!

I Learn About My Feelings

These Helper Words remind you of all the positive things you can do with your upset feelings.

CATCHING FEELINGS

Wait a minute. Freeze frame. I'll catch this feeling.
I have a right to my feelings.
I speak my feelings when I am upset.
I can say how I feel.
I'll use my firm words to take care of myself.

BREAKING INTO CONFUSION

I'm feeling confused. I'll breathe and figure this out.
Hey, I'm numbing out. It's okay to feel my feelings.
I'll breathe and ask myself what I am feeling.
I check in with my body to find out my feelings.

SAYING HOW YOU FEEL

I can tell people how I feel.
I am a feelings person.
I feel good for getting my upset feelings out.
I am most powerful when I say how I feel.

Hint: Say your Helper Words to help you get in touch with what to do when you are in a sticky situation!

THE MOST IMPORTANT THINGS TO REMEMBER ABOUT GETTING MAD!

I am in charge of my own feelings.
I own my feelings.
I feel them, name them and then tell them.
It is okay to feel angry.
I learn how to express my anger in ways that are helpful.
Anger is part of being a human being and that is a wonderful thing to be.

The more I learn about taking care of my anger, the more powerful I become.
I get my control.
I control what I do with my anger.
I gain control over how I let my anger out.
I watch my thoughts.
Hot thoughts keep me angry. Cool thoughts calm me down.
I practice cooling off. I learn to chill myself out. I take a chill pill.

I remember people are precious.
I stop hurting others or myself with my anger.
I watch my thoughts. I watch my words. I watch my actions.
I own the hurtful words and actions that I do to others.
I learn about things I do when I am stressed and threatened.
I stop hurting people with my words and actions.
Bully Behavior hurts two ways--It hurts me and hurts the other person.

I choose to feel good about myself through speaking out.
I express angry feelings in ways that are fair to others and myself.
I use my firm and fair words: I feel ____ when you ____.

I don't have to hold on to my anger.
I find ways to let my anger go.
I talk about my hurt feeling and angry feelings.
I problem solve things that make me upset.
I keep looking until I find someone safe to talk to about my anger.
I talk about my words and actions that hurt others.

I take my power!
I stand up for myself.
I stand up for others who are being hurt.
I break into my mean thoughts that I use to beat myself up.
I am powerful when I use my fair and firm words.

More on "Bully Behavior"
Back to the Angries Out Center