I hurt you
responsibility and saying that you are sorry about something
you did wrong is one way you can let go of guilt. Guilt
says, "I did something wrong and so now I have to feel
bad." There are two kinds of guilt.
is an emotion that comes from the conscience when you
have done something you know is wrong. Guilt works to
nag you so that you won't do harmful things again. Guilt
helps you look at your behavior and say, "What I did
was wrong for me and it hurt someone else. I won't do
that again." This is helpful guilt--it gets you to change
something that you are doing that doesn't fit for you.
There is another
kind of heaped-on-guilt that is not helpful. This is extra
guilt where you feel like you are at fault even when you
know that you didn't do anything wrong. This guilt is
NOT productive. It just hangs around like a bad habit
bugging you and making you feel rotten. Separate out your
extra guilt from your helpful guilt.
Use this imagery
to let the bad kind of guilt go. Close your eyes and picture
yourself going deep inside your body and collecting all
the unnecessary guilt and putting it in a bag. Then picture
yourself sending it to the moon, the center of the earth
or anywhere safe where it will be neutralized. Breathe
deeply and picture your guilt being released.
TO RELEASE HELPFUL GUILT
You can let
go of the helpful kind of guilt after you made amends
to the person you hurt. Making an amends is an apology
to tell someone that you are sorry for what you did. You
make an amendment to your behavior--you add something
that makes it right by saying you are sorry. Making an
amends is a correction technique where you address your
regret that you have hurt the other person.
You can tell
the person to his or her face what your are sorry about
or you can write a letter. Or you can even talk to that
person's angel and tell them of your regrets that you
hurt the person. Even if it has been years and years ago
since you hurt someone, you can still write about it and
say that you are sorry.
Take time now
to write a letter to the person you have hurt. You may
choose to send it or not, but writing it, saying you are
sorry and feeling regret can help.
Guilt is only
necessary as an emotion to get you to stop doing harmful
things or pushing you to do things we know you need to
do that you have been avoiding. Any other guilt can be
released as it doesn't do anything for you anymore. Get
someone to help you if you can't do it by yourself. You
just don't need to hold on to nonproductive guilt!
are sorry but we can no longer accept new letters.
I don't know
where to start. We've been together 11 years and we've
had so many problems along the way. I've mistreated you,
spoke to you like you were nothing, acted like you were
nothing, cheated on you, lied to you, ignored you, and
still you stayed.
Because you believed in something, you stayed.
were ever "compatible" or not is totally irrelevant. I
know we don't have a future...not now. Someday enough
will be enough and you will drop me, as you should.
But I want
you to know that I'm sorry.
for being so hateful, rude, unintelligent, childish, selfish,
passive-aggressive, unfaithful, hopeless, careless, and
flat out mean. I'm sorry for not caring when I said I
did, not loving when I said I would, not listening when
I said I would. I'm sorry for throwing away the wonderful
life you offered. I'm sorry for not speaking up when I
should have, not being as assertive as I could have been,
not respecting myself enough to know that my self-loathing
was being spilled over onto you.
I don't know
what the source of these problems is, but it's not you.
I've blamed you, and I am wrong.
I love you
the only way I know how to love a person, which doesn't
amount to much in the eyes of someone who loves as much
as you do. I'm so sorry. Don't think about forgiveness...just
know that I wish you nothing more than peace.
I am so sorry
that I hurt you throughout the years by taking you for
granted. I am sorry that I was mean, controlling, insensitive.
I guess I was under to much stress and/or not in my right
mind. I hope you can find in your heart to give me another
chance as I work on changing myself.
I am truly
sorry for crushing your love for me. I didn't understand
how much I was hurting you. I'm all grown up now, but
still miss you and still with you could happen again in
my lonely life. Forgive me. You were the most magical,
spiritual experience of my lifetime.
I love you.
I'm so sorry
for the way that I spoke to you this weekend. I get so
angry with you for always talking so negatively about
yourself. I said I would punch you if you talked like
that again. I would never do that. Sometimes I want to
just to jolt some sense into you. You are a beautiful
person and I wish you would realize that and give yourself
some credit for the wonderful things you do. You are a
great mother and wife. A great sister and daughter. And
a great friend. The way I spoke to you was hurtful and
insensative and I'm sure only adds to your distress right
now. I wish I was as gentle and forgiving as you are.
I promise I will be a more understanding compassionate
friend. I promise I am working on my anger. You have so
much insight and love and I just squash you with my almighty
ideas. I should not do that. I acted like a know it all...
I'm so ignorant sometimes.
know how much I love you as my special friend and how
sorry I am.
I am so sorry
that I was not there for you before you cheated on me.
I am not blaming myself for what you did, but I know I
had changed some. It's hard moving to another state and
trying to adjust to all the change. I know you strayed
from me because of all my nagging- again, not right. I
wish you had just talked to me i/o going outside our relationship.
I want to make everything better and am trying with all
my heart. You must now do your best to overcome the guilt
you feel so we can get past this.
I love you
with all my heart!!!
Im so sorry
for hurting you last year in november... these past five
moths have been hell without you by my side. Im so angry
at myself for destroying something that was so amazing
and so unique.. we were so happy together and i miss that.
You are such a great person and its sad that i saw the
bad side of you from my selfish actions.
I love you
baby boy and no matter where life takes me, i will always
care for you and love you.. from our man Tupac "Gotta
keep yo head up!"
Beauty ... Kiss from me
I am sorry
for being so angry about the rejection from my son and
X daughter in law. I'm sorry for being angry and resentfull
toward both of them for not being Cival toward the relationship
with thier children ,and my attitude that the children
are Gifts from God and should not be used as pawns or
caught in the crossfire of a Nasty Divorce. I'm sorry
for the resentment I feel toward my X Daughter in laws
family for not encourageing Her to allow me to see the
Children or at least send me a picture. I am sorry about
the anger I feel toward my whole family for expecting
me to forget about the Love I feel for those precious
Grandsons. I am sorry for feeling anger and resentment
toward the church as a whole for letting the people down.
But most of all I'm sorry it took me too long to realize
that Nothing or No-one cane truely make me Happy apart
from God. AMEN
sincerly for this sight I'm sorry I didn't find it sooner!
I can't tell
you enough or in the right words how sorry I am for the
things that I've done. I wish I could take back the cheating,
lying, and deception. You were supposed to be the person
I loved more than anything, and I betrayed you and hurt
you the worst that I could have. I wish I could be stronger
at times when we're fighting to not egg it on and to be
able to just apologize to you and make it stop. I love
you, and I pray every night for us to get back the trust
and love we once had. Please never forget that I love
you more than anything, and you mean the world to me.
i'm sorry that i caused so much trouble for you and daddy.
little angel, Roxxane
sorry I hurt you last night when I pulled your hair. I
felt angry and jealous. It was wrong and I am ashamed
I acted so childishly. I know that upsets you and I did
it to upset you intentionally. No man should have his
hair pulled by his girlfriend like a three year old. I'm
sorry I did it and I won't do it again. I hurt you on
purpose and you have every right to be mad. Please accept
mommy is sorry for being so angry at you today when you
were not nice to your sister. I spanked you on the bottom
and afterwards I felt bad. I think that you are a wonderful
little boy and I am going to be different from now on.
Spanking is not for me! I have tried to tell your daddy
that I don't like to spank but today I have decided, NO
MORE. I will find better ways to discipline you. You are
my little "fine sir!" I will use my words (the way It'll
you to do) and I will have other ways of disciplining
you. Today you received your very last spanking from your
I'm sorry that
I lashed out on you tonight. I don't know what got into
me. I didn't think I was that stressed out, but maybe
I am. Either way, that is no excuse for the way I acted.
I just got so frustrated because I kept asking you to
stop and you wouldn't. I know that you were just joking
around, but I blew it out of proportion. I don't blame
you for being mad at me, but please forgive me. I don't
want that to happen again and it's not going to. I'm very
ashamed and humiliated. I love you very much and I'm so
I can't begin to express how sorry I am for who
I have become. I've never meant to bring any harm
to you be it emotional or physical. Hurting you
only hurt myself and I was wrong to blame my emotions
on you, and I want you to know that I want to change and
learn to control MY emotions and MY anger.
You were right, it was never anything you did. It
was and still is my problem. Please give me one
last chance to correct it. I don't know what I would
do without you, you are the best person I have ever met
and the only one I could ever imagine loving. Please
accept my apology and know that I am going to work on
some anger management for myself to learn to control
that anger that creates the me you don't like.
I'm sorry PB and I will always keep a loving place in
my heart for you. I just hope you can find it
to forgive me.
I am going
to take responsibility for how I feel. I am going to anger
management and I am going to get a part-time job. You
are not responsible for how I feel. I feel tired and I
am going to rest. I feel inadequate so I am going to anger
management. I feel insecure and irresponsible, so I going
to get a job. I feel overwhelmed, so I have to take it
slow and get back to doing one thing at a time.
I need to
take control over I how feel and not bother you with how
I feel. It must be a drag for you, and I am sorry. If
I had known you were coming, I would have prepared myself
months in advance. I do love you and I hope you really
didn't mean what you said about me not loving you.
I hung up
because you started ridiculing me about something I already
explained to you 100 times and I am not going to start
using my precious energy re-hashing the past or defending
myself against untruths about my character. If I had more
clarity about how I FEEL I wouldn't be doing this number
on you. I am confusing YOU by sending out too many conflicting
FEELINGS about too many interrelated issues.
I am sincerely
in the present, and I don't rehash the past in my head,
haven't for a long long time. It has brought me some peace.
I will walk away from any argument about the past. I am
not going to rehash it. It was complicated and there is
no end to the twists and the turns of reactions to reactions.
We will never know the all of it. I don't want to know
the all of it.
I like who
I am and I am not going to beat myself up about mistakes.
And I am not into beating you up either. That is disgusting.
I like who you are- that is THE TRUTH.
I was not
prepared for last Thrusday night either. Please forgive
me for going on and on and on and on please forgive me
for not knowing how to shut my brain off. I need to learn
some skills so that I can shut it off. Please give me
the time to learn to deal with myself.
I want to
learn, I truly believe it is my responsibility to correct
myself if what I do doesn't work towards happiness for
us. I do not want to make you feel bad about anything.
You are wonderful to me, and I love you. I need to get
off this kick I am on and I need some skills to do it.
No big deal. I would slay dragons for you.
are my best friend and i do not know what i would do with
out you. I am sorry for all of the times i made you feel
bad and i wish i could take them all back. From now on
i will be cool, and i am trying to find ways to deal with
my anger problem. Now when i look back on it i feel like
such a hipocrit because i know i would hate it if you
did that stuff to me.
about ally, girls will never get in the way of our frienedship!
im really sorry
to CJP for all my mistakes....
I am sorry
that I didn't support you and understand how you felt.
I promise to get better at giving you all I can. I am
sorry that I made you mad and please try to forgive me.
I am sorry
that i hurt. I could not control myself. I was not mad
at you and what I did was wrong. You have every right
to be upset with me and I respect that. I now realize
that I have a problem and I am seeking ways to help myself.
I am changing for you and I hope you can find it your
heart to forgive me. I LOVE YOU. I never wanted to hurt
you like I did and I have nothing to say for myself except
for that I am going to get help and fix my anger problem,
I will love you forever and I won't ever hurt you again.
SORRY FOR ALL
THE ARGUEMENTS REALLY DO LOVE YOU ALTHOUGH I FIND IT HARD
TO SHOW AND TO BE ABLE TO TELLYOU PROPERLY I JUST HOPE
I HAVE NOT LEFT IT TO LATE AND IM GOING TO TRY AND GET
WIL LOVE YOU FOR EVER BECAUSE YOU BOTH MEEN THE WORLD
I'm sorry for
getting mad that I couldn't find something and I took
it out on you. It made you so sad and you didn't deserve
it. I love you. I wasn't even mad at you at all. I wish
you would have been able to skip school so I could hang
out with you and hug you. I didn't mean to make you sad.
i hurt a.w.'s
feelings and am really,really sorry and have already apologized
and wanted to make ammends. i luv a.w. very much and would
like to apologize again in this letter. a.w. i luv you
alot and want you to know that.you have real feelings
and i dont want to hurt them anymore. i DO love you very,very
much. im glad i let this out,cus i kinda feel better now.
see ya, jovi
I broke the rocket I bought you for Christmas.
Dear J. Q.,
I hit you when you laughed at me last week. I felt mad
and wanted you to stop laughing. I hurt you. My feelings
were hurt. I feel really bad and sad about hitting you.
I want to be your friend and I won't hit you anymore.
i'm sorry that I threw the bowl of spaghetti at you. when
you said that comment about my dad, I lost it. I am so
sorry. please don't leave me.
I yelled at you today when you invited me to go out with
you. I should have just said no I am too tired to go out
instead of yelling at you. I was angry about some other
minor incidences and did not mean to take it out on you.
You are the best sis in the world and I hope you can forgive
your big sis (the idiot!)
Note from The Lady Who Knows About
Dear big sis,
Please oh please do not call yourself an idiot! You may
say you did an idiot thing, but do not label yourself
with a negative just because you goofed up!
To L. W.
I am sorry
for accusing you for taking something that was mine. I
am also sorry for not being able to reconnect our friendship
that we had and letting people mess up our friendship.
The pizza that I ordered to your house all the crazy phone
calls etc. I am apologizing to you hoping that we can
be friends and that you will accept my apology. I do know
what I did was wrong and childish.
im sorry i
hit u upside the head when you were not payin attention
and almost hit that kid, you just uupsetme cus you dont
pay attention to lil things and its not even that its
in the reliationship as well... i dont know but im sorry
bout smackin u upside ur head i should never have doen
it and it hurts so bad that i did i wish i could take
ti back but i cant sooo i dont know what else to say please
Sorries From Adults:
am sorry I told you I didn't want to be with you anymore.
I was not coping with my parents divorce, or with the
bullying I've been enduring. I tried to end the pain,
but I took a bad approach. Ending our relationship did
nothing to help me feel better, and has just resulted
in us both feeling bad. I hope you don't really hate me
and think I am a bitch, as you told me, because I don't
think I am like that and was not acting right today. You
don't believe me when I say I'm sorry, and that is understandable,
because I have hurt you, and if you don't trust me anymore,
it's only my fault. Our relationship may never return
to normal, and I regret it deeply.
I am sorry I have hurt you for the past 40 some years.
You have gone through so much suffering to the point you
have practically given up hope of ever knowing who you
are or what you can accomplish. I have lead you down the
road of anxiety and deep depression. Please forgive me.
I have never known
how to love you but always put others happiness before
you. I will work hard to change this thinking know that
you did not ask for the childhood you grew up in and I
want you to know that it is not your fault. You don't
need to blame yourself for your family's constant criticism
that I believed all these years were true about you. No
one is perfect and you family is not perfect either. You
are not a slave to others and I will no longer push you
to be a slave. You don't have to feel you have to be perfect
in everything you try to do any more for fear of making
me angry. I will no longer make you jump through hoops
to impress others.
I will refuse to beat you up anymore for a mistake you
made or not being able to make others happy. I will refuse
to listen to that little voice inside our head that says
you are stupid and worthless and will never amount to
anything. I will never get mad at you again when you make
a mistake. Everyone makes mistakes why should I expect
you to never make one. I will never say I hate you any
more. I will never punish you again for trying you best
and it was not up to the standards I expected out of you.
I will affirm
you with thoughts of love only. I will take care of you
and love and help you see that the little child in you
was only doing what she thought she could do to protect
herself. I have lead you to believe in wrong thinking
patterns and for this I am the most sorry for.
I will work hard to change myself so I think only healthy
good thoughts about you instead of hating you when things
go wrong or are beyond our control. I will try to do more
things with you and push my fears aside so you can have
fun in the real world instead of living alone and feeling
miserable so I can sorry for myself. I will struggle hard
to overcome our fears together. I will struggle with the
fears to help us both understand that we can accomplish
anything if we work hard for it. I will no longer push
you at work to make myself look good. I will no longer
act like a martyr so I can believe my mistakes are right
and you are not worth it and hurt you again and again
in the process. I will not take to heart the negative
things no matter how trivial people tell me and blame
you for them. I will not blame you for the anger and frustration
I cause you to blow up at people when they say or do things
that make me angry.
Please forgive me. God please forgive me for not giving
you all of my hurts, fears and frustrations to you instead
of hurting myself. Please God help guide me and give me
the strength to help myself become a whole person who
loves themself. But most important please give me a second
chance to help undo all the wrongs I have done to myself.
I just want to let me know that I will do everything possible
to change and to rectify everything I have done to hurt
me and let me know that I really and truly do love me.
am sorry for all of the things I've done to you and your
daughter. I have been a very angry person. All this time
I thought I was doing the right thing, but I wasn't. I
was hurting the both of you. I pray that someday the both
of you will learn to forgive me, and love me once more.
All I want is for our family to be happy, and I will do
whatever needs to be done to assure that.
love you both very much, and am forever sorry.
I am so sorry
for the 37 years of verbal abuse, control, and as I've
finally come to admit raping of my children's loving mother
and my wife of almost 33 years. You've tried to tell me
your feelings for so many, many years, and I never listened.
I thought you were the sick one, all the while in denial
of the abusive and controlling behavior you were telling
me about. I'm so sorry for keeping you from visiting your
family, when you should have been able to be there for
them and yourself. For taking from you, what should have
only been given by you. When we became one in God's eyes,
I believed you were mine to have and to hold and when
I wanted you I took from you. Please, know I am sorry,
it was as you have told me, "RAPE".
As I remember
it, from our teens to our fifties, abusive and controlling
behavior, I Have Done to You, My Wife, and family in the
past 37 years, for which I am trying to acknowledge and
to take ownership of.
- ·I have
driven past where you were baby sitting, revving the
engine because I was angry that you were baby sitting
rather than being with me.
- I have driven
fast, with and without you in the car, when angry with
- I drove
fast over the railroad tracks, and hardly had time to
stop for the stop sign on the highway.
- I would
blame you for things I had done while driving, such
as going through stop signs, missing turns, getting
- I controlled
the money, giving you what I thought was enough to buy
groceries and to pay monthly bills.
- I kept you
from being with your friends and family.
- I thought
you should be content and happy to be with just me,
and I let it be known to you.
- I thought,
and told you, you were sick, even crazy.
- I thought
I needed you to be with me ALWAYS, unless I was at work,
and I let it be known to you.
- I thought
you should and could make me happy, and if you didn't
it was your fault, and let it be known to you.
- I have been
angry when you where on the phone with friends, and
would try to catch you, talking about me.
- When out,
I felt you needed to be with me by my side, or I felt
angry and alone.
- I didn't
want to go places if I had to socialize with people,
but I never wanted you to go by yourself, even if you
- I complained
about the miles on the car and the amount of gas being
- I told you,
you were sick, because you didn't want sex as much as
- I have violated
you sexually, trying for sex when you had asked me not
to, even to the point of you crying, and also while
you were asleep.
- I have told
you, in reference to sex, that you were like a ‘----
----' in bed.
- I have left
you crying and have fallen asleep after sex.
- I have lied
- I have put
you down in front of friends, family and while alone,
and when you felt hurt, I told you that I was only kidding
or joking, and that you are too sensitive.
- I have left
you and our children at church, and drove off angry,
because we were a few minutes late.
- I have sat
waiting in anger for you to get yourself and the children
ready for church, but not helping you.
- I ruined
your friend's, wedding for you and the children, by
being angry and complaining.
- I left you
and the children alone in the car, getting out of the
car and walking home after leaving your friend's wedding.
- I have verbally
abused both of our children and also have used a strap
to discipline our son.
- I have thought,
felt, and talked of suicide in front of you.
- I have displayed
my pistol, while angry.
- I have said,
‘The house you love, may be the house you die in'.
- I have talked
to you in a voice you have told me was too loud, and
denied that I was.
- I have rolled
my eyes and used other facial expressions toward you,
and have denied that I had.
- I have
told you that YOU make Me angry.
is only of what I recall from the many more that you must
have felt and have been hurt by. I know there are more,
and that these are just particular instances, that are
the result of the every day controlling and abusive behavior,
I have in the past and still do display. So much of what
you've told me over and over, I have continually denied,
but the more I read, about control and abuse, the more
I see myself doing the things you've been trying for so
long to tell me, to stop doing. How can I be so blind
and deaf for so long? I have ruined our marriage and family,
and have caused every thing I've wanted to be every thing
I no longer have. I feel, I've lost, your friendship,
companionship, intimacy, and love. I live in this house
and much of the time I feel more loneliness than I had
felt while living alone during our time of separation.
I know you may never be able to or even want to forgive
and trust me, but I want to tell you I am sorry.
I told you
so many times I would change, and it never happened, and
I have no reason for you to believe in me now. I have
gone to two Emotions Anon meetings, this because of the
many times you told me of the help you received from Al-Anon
and your support groups. I hope I can receive the help
I need to change, I am going to try, for me, and for us
I hope. I wish I could make things better, and make up
for the past, but if I live to be 100, I will probably
never have a enough time on earth to do so. I do love
you, and thought that I always loved you, but as I come
to realize all the hurt I caused you, I don't know if
I even know how to love. So much of the control I had
over you, that I no longer have, is because of the way
you have changed. For a long time, many years, I hated
the changes in you, but I am now able to see you go out
with friends and honestly hope you have fun. I miss you,
going places with me, or enjoying time with you, I realize
that will only come with trust, which may or may not come
from my actions and not my saying I'm sorry. I only hope
I can change before my behavior escalates to the point
to where my abuse of you becomes more physical. I know
I have hurt you deeply, emotionally, and I need to stop
now. You may never see this, and if you do, it will probably
bring you to feeling angry with me. But in my defense,
I'm hoping that by putting this in print, it will help
me to come to acknowledge and to own all the hurt and
emotional pain, I've brought to you all.
I am Sorry,
for the way I've been acting. I just want you to know
that you and Gloria are the most important things in my
life and I will do anything to make our life work out
together. I WILL control my anger. I WILL be a good father.
I WILL be a good husband. I WILL be a calmer more laid
back person like I used to be. I WILL do whatever it takes
to make our life right together. You are my world, and
my everything. I love you more than life itself and would
give mine up for you to live. Please forgive me and let's
work this out.
I LOVE YOU,
here at work reflecting on everything. I'm scared and
I'm trying not to be in denial I guess that I have been
angry for a long time. I ask myself but why am I angry,
I think hard, several things come to mind.
on my past I know I'm angry for being adopted- it should
never of happened but it did. Angry because I was bullied
at school and could not take anymore. I'm angry that it
took my parents so long to get me out of that school.
Angry because my parents sent me to see a psychologist
I was young- I felt that everyone was laughing at me at
school. Angry because my Mum threw my keyboard at my leg
and I needed stitches. I'm angry because, I was given
the belt across my bare backside. Angry because I was
forced into eating food that made me sick then having
to stand naked in the kitchen whilst my brother was allowed
I have felt
so many times that I've been a failure in my life and
my anger is about me not anyone else. I have realized
now that there are reasons to why I have become angry
over the years, those reasons are the ones above but I
have never admitted them fully to myself.
I have wanted
help for a long time, to talk, to give in and admit that
being angry does not help. In fact it is only destroying
me and pushing you further away from me.
I wonder though
if I'm just looking for excuses in my past because I don't
feel hatred or anger all the time, I never think about
the past, being bullied. I do think about the adoption
but not all the time.
I'm sorry for
being angry with you. I'm sorry for hurting you and for
throwing you off the seat, what you said hurt me but there
was no excuse. I know that I did not mean for the ashtray
to hit your head but it did and you were injured. I felt
sick inside when that happened. I'm sorry for hitting
the wall. I'm sorry for putting ash on the suit I bought
you. In writing this and having discussed Anger Management
with you I'm determined to get this problem sorted out
once and for all. I know that you get angry too but you
don't do what I have done. I realize that we can all get
angry but there is a stopping point, there is a limit
and many times I know when to call time out, certainly
I have known the past couple of months.
forward to forgiving myself, learning about me and to
understand why I have become an angry person. I want to
be in control of this. I want you and I to feel at peace
and know that in times of frustration it can be talked
through. I most of all want to hear you say you trust
me and love me. I know you feel my love and I know I make
I want to feel
happy with myself too, this is why Anger Management will
being there. I love you and thanks for asking me to get
I am so sorry
and I wish I could turn back the clock but I can't. I
grew up in a violent home and when I had you I was determined
things would be different for you. Then I met a man who
was exactly like my father and I married him. It brought
out feelings of fear and anger I could not deal with and
instead of reacting against the husband who would shout
and lash out scaring us both I took it out on you. It
will never happen again. I have divorced this negative
man but I see the change in you every day now. You are
angry and aggressive and impulsive and abusive and it
is my fault.
I want us
both to change. You are my world and I will do all I can
to help you break the cycle I passed onto you. I love
you and if I have caused you everlasting pain I want to
know how to help you ease it. I know our bond has been
damaged but I want to try to work towards healing because
I can't turn back time. And we both have so far yet to
I will do whatever
40 days since I physically hurt you and I kept on hurting
you verbally, even when you came back to me. I'm just
about to realize the damage I have done. I'm sorry. I'm
so sorry. You gave me everything a man could dream of
: love, affection, and the will to build a family with
me and the dog, waiting for children ...
I have always
been criticizing you, laughing at your fears, not wanting
to help you. I put an insane control on you just because
you were much more educated than me on emotional beings.
The more you told me you wanted somebody strong as a partner,
the more I fell weak and unable to be that one and the
more I was angry. One day, I got violent and I threw you
out of my house. But that was yours too. This bad evening
was your birthday, probably the worse you will ever have
in your life.
I know we
are so different, but I couldn't accept you as you are.
I rejected your love that was safe and sincere. By now,
you're afraid of me. What I have done ? Who am I to hurt
you that way and saying horrible things ? I never knew
how to love you. I couldn't make you happy because I didn't
knew how to make myself happy.
Today, I feel
ashamed and guilty. I am going to make a therapy to keep
me safe from being angry and violent. I wish to thank
you for support and comprehension, you're the most loving
person I ever met. When I forgive myself, I'll ask you
to forgive me and to reconsider talking to me again.
life and have fun with the band.
You are precious
To those I've
to myself fisrtly not because I think I am better than
anyone or more desservant of it, but because I have finally
realized that I was waiting all of these years for someone
else to forgive me. But nobody can forgive me if they
don't know what I have put myself through if that makes
any sense. I am sorry I let people abuse me as an adult,
as a child I couldn't stop it but as adult I seemed to
encourage it. I am sorry I abused myself by putting myself
into dangerous situations dangerous emotionally and physically.
For trying to take my own life several times and I am
glad I didn't because I am stronger than that and nothing
in this world is more precious than a human life. And
I apologize to myself for lying and hiding my real feelings
and the real me, I am glad I finally allowed myself the
privelege of being myself and I have never been happier.
I would like
to apologize to my family and friends for lying to them
my whole life about who I was. I didn't trust you with
my feelings or thoughts and I was always angry and hateful,
I was a child and I just didn't understand what was so
wrong with me. I felt if I didn't understand what was
wrong with me why anyone else would have.
I am sorry
to P.W. for taking my anger and hurt out on you, I need
to find better ways to deal with my pain and hurt you
have always been there for me and I have stolen your sweet
smile I think a million times. Sometimes it may seem to
you I enjoy doing it, but it is just as painful for me
to see you sad and even more so knowing that I was the
cause of your tears. I am pleased to have you in my life
I never want to lose you or live without you.
Mom I want
to say I am sorry for holding back the pain and anger
I feel for you, I feel I was wronged given a sentence
in an emotional jail without a chance to plead my case.
But I have grown now and I realize that was then and this
is now, you have changed alot and I have made you cry
through out the years probably nearly as much as I did
as a child and for that I am terribly sorry. I am glad
you are my mother because though life was not perfect
I would not have become the person I am today. And thank
you for being here for me now.
I am sorry for hurting your feelings , i abruptly broke
up with you in 1980. I was being unfaithful and was too
ashamed to come clean with you then. I believe you have
been given a great life today and this you deserve.
I wish I could
tell you face to face the things I have learned from how
Iacted - to tell you how sorry I really am and to tell
you that I realize a lot of the things I did wrong to
hurt you. I wish I had supported you more and that I had
stopped to listen before getting angry. I was the happiest
I have ever been when we got married and I feel like we
could have worked things out if I hadnt lost my temper
and had trusted you more. I miss you more than I can say
and wish I knew how to show you my heart. You said you
didnt know if you would ever come back - but that you
didnt want me to wait for you. That is the hardest thing
for me to do. I have to let you go and I know in my heart
that I dont want to - I never have. I will miss you more
than I can express - but I have to accept that sometimes
you cant undo the hurt. Sometimes you just have to let
someone be free. I pray that if you ever miss me you will
seek me out - the door is always open. I love you. I pray
that my sincere apology reaches you through whatever means
and that you will find peace in your heart with me. I
am sorry I hurt you and now am letting you go.
sorry that I rattled your teakettle. But, we both know
it didn't break. Someone tonight told me just to lighten
up about you. After all that we've been through, is that
possible? Can we still be friends? He also said that there's
just two kinds of people that you don't get along with.
Neither one was a very nice name. Which one am I? The
first (an "idiot"), the second (an "a******"). He said
the first couldn't do what you wanted him to do and the
second wouldn't. I liked him a whole bunch.
I hope you
didn't have to look in my trash for places where I might
have put your tea kettle. That would be an icky place
to have had to look. When he told me that you might even
go through my trash, guess what I wanted to do, first
thought? I'm so tempted to play hide and seek with you.
Maybe, you might look for me here, every now and then.
I think it would be cute, inventive, and you know what!
I'm sorry I
hurt you. I'm sorry I emotionally abused you. You were
a child entrusted in my care and my anger and mood swings
made you insecure. You never knew what to expect. And
then I would sleep all the time and I neglected you and
in so doing I abandoned you. And then, I tried to kill
myself and in so doing betrayed you so that you could
not trust anyone. I did all these things to you beginning
when you were a baby until you were a teen. I feel like
a bad angel; a very, very bad angel. My heart over flows
with empathy for you. My love for you will be with me
always. Forever I will grieve my loss of you. You were
the best thing that ever came into my life. I will forever
be grateful that I've had the privilege of knowing you.
I'm V. I'm
37. I'm always angry. I'm a good person, very jolly. However
when my anger comes out I say and do things that I do
not mean. I've had troubled relationships all my life.
My biggest challenge is the feeling that my anger leaves.
It's very bitter and the guilt is horrible. Many years
ago , I was a rebellious girl. I want to say sorry to
my mom for all the challenges she had to face with me
and my angry attitude. In spite of the fact that I never
said sorry, deep inside I feel that I'm in debt with my
been 1 year, 3 months, and 15 days. -I am so terribly
sorry for all of the hurt I caused you. -If I had somehow
known that hour was my last with you...I'd have never
let you out of my arms; much less driven away without
a goodbye kiss or an "I love you". -I know if you were
able to, you would forgive me and tell me to move on with
my life...but I just can't Julie. -I miss you every moment.
-Your voice, your hugs, and God knows I miss your smile.
-There isn't a day that passes that I don't see your face
everywhere I look or hear a song that takes me back to
you. -I loved you then, and I love you still. -
you, made you cry, and said so many things out of anger
that I will regret for the rest of my life. It just tears
me apart because I can't take them back. -I've had to
learn the very cruel lesson that we don't always get a
'second chance to make it right'. -I miss you so much
that sometimes it's even hard to breathe. I miss you laughing
at my jokes, your cooking nearly burning the house down,
-the strand of hair that fell in your eyes when you'd
look down at something, and the way you'd fall asleep
with your head resting on my chest. -So many things I'd
give anything just to see or experience one more time.
Simple day to day things, like waking up or eating dinner,
are so unbearable without you here. -
so sorry I didn't end it the way it deserved to end. -I
just had no idea you were going to be taken from us so
soon. -It never crossed my mind that I could wake up one
morning only to realize the horrible news I had been trying
to deny was true and you really were gone. -I thank God
for every second I had you beside me and for the memories
I hold so close to my heart. -I am So Very Sorry. I Miss
I'm sorry for
always putting you down, and blaming you for all my bad
situations. I'm sorry for not forgiving you for your past
mistakes. I realize me being unhappy with myself, that
you could never make me happy. I'm sorry for not accepting
you for who you are. I'm sorry for trying to change you.
I want so much to be able to change my actions, I want
to be able to stop doing these things, honey it is hard,
so please forgive me, and in the future please remind
me of this. I don't like to hurt your feelings, or anyone's.
I Love You, and please forgive me honey, I may not change,
but I do realize I am wrong for not working on my part
im sorry. im
awful and horrible and rotten on the inside please forgive
me and help me. my family means the world to me i dont
want to hurt them anymore
You were right,
I've been educating myself on anger management and the
15+ years of beatings I took at home when I was a kid,
have surfaced in our 10 year relationship time and time
again. I love you and will never hurt you again - I will
get the help I need to break this vicious cycle NOW before
we have kids and perpetuate it further. You are the love
of my life and I will do everything in my power to be
your lover, your partner, your teammate, your friend and
your husband from this moment forward, I swear it.
GOOD FOR YOU F!
We can choose in our generation to stop the pattern of
abuse and keep it from going on to future generations!
It's a lifelong study, but a worthwhile one.
Warning: As your life gets more stressful, as it does
occasionally across a lifetime, old abusive habits can
return. That is the time to be really good to yourself!
I'm sorry I
had to break up with you the summer before my Senior year
in college in l960. I cared a lot about you, but I knew
that you were not the right person for me to marry. I
knew that I would not have been able to be faithful to
you. So I had to break off our romance. It was the right
decision for me and ultimately for you, although you didn't
understand it at the time.
I hope you
found someone who loves you deeply and you have a happy
life. I'm sorry I hurt you.
I am sorry
for hurting N, Ray, and God for things I have done while
under the influence of alcohol. I am sorry for not honoring
these major relationships in my life and it is true that
guilt has influenced my behavior to change.
I made our relationship of 12 years end because I found
interest in someone else. I could be quite happy in this
new relationship if only I were able to feel forgiven
of the terrible pain I know I caused you. I'll always
love you and respect you and remember all the happiness
you filled my life with through the years. I hope you
can do the same.
I had no right
to go off on you the way I did. My anger was directed
towards you when it should have been directed to my colleagues.
I hope that you can forgive me.
To the lady,
i was angry
and i threw a skateboard at my frieind. he had to get
sticheds and staples in his head. i am really sorry and
all my frinds are mad at me.
What you are learning in stop yourself from doing reckless
things when you are angry. Like picking up something and
throwing it, just because you are mad. You can get past
this feeling bad about this if you learn to never throw
something in anger again.
It is good that you feel sorrow for your action. That
shows you are a caring person deep down. Yes, friends
will get mad at you if you do something to hurt someone.
That is part of your learning too--that your actions have
consequences that will come back on you.
So you need to learn to talk about your mads so they do
not build up until you explode. Keep learning new ways
to get your mads out. Go to the Angries Out web site and
print out these pages:
im so sorry
i hurt you. youre my best friend and i swear ill never
do it again. i dont know why i freaked out at you cause
you didnt do anything wrong. im a jerk and i dont think
you need someone like me in your life cause you have enough
bad stuff already and i only let you down.
god alex im
so sorry. you are the best person ill ever meet and i
will sew my lips shut before i ever hurt you again. i
dont even remeber what i was so mad about but youve gotta
belive me when i say that i would never hurt you. i have
got to learn control before i go and do something really
really bad.i hurt you and i hurt susan and i really love
you both even though i know i dont say that.i hope someday
susan will take me back cause i miss her but shes doing
so much better without me her foolish knight.these are
the chains that weigh on me not you guys and i have no
right at all to put them on you.you guys are gold you
have to know that. you know i love you dont you? if i
didnt i dont know where id be.
i dont wanna
hurt anyone anymore.im gonna try and change and if i cant
then mark my words i wont take you down with me. i love
you so much im sick of being macho i love you and i love
susan more than youll ever know.guess thats it for now
and i know you forgave me but i dont want you to ever
be scared of me ok? i will be strong and stop the violence.
I m glad you are looking for information on anger. That
shows that you care about yourself and others and are
ready to learn some anger management skills. Hey, this
is called growing up!
Leaving the situation which makes you mad is ALWAYS preferable
to hurting yourself or your friends with your words or
actions. Take a time for yourself period to cool down.
Get yourself away before you do something that you will
You are using venting of anger to try to release it and
that isn t working so well for you. Hostility breeds hostility.
Can you find more productive ways to deal with the angry
feelings? Like drawing a picture of them or writing about
them? Or running or washing your car, or cleaning your
room or anything productive to work them out? Once I chopped
a bush down that needed to come out when I was mad. I
still had to deal with the situation though.
You need a strong enough counselor who can get you to
the deep feelings of hurt, disappointment and betrayal
under the anger. Anger is the substitute emotion that
comes up so you do not have to feel the more vulnerable
emotions that hide down deep.
Maybe your therapist could do some Voice Dialogue with
you to let all those parts of you speak to release the
pain that you have hidden away.
Other important techniques for your therapist to help
you with anger include The Emotional Freedom Technique,
Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing, Thought
Field Therapy, and the Tapas Acupressure Technique. These
newer ways of helping people are faster and more efficient
than just talking about why you get angry.
Keep reading and learning all that you can. Read my A
Primer on Anger and Whoosh! The
One Thirtieth of a Second Reaction of Anger which
explain why we get angry. You can read about these ways
to release anger at my web page named YOUNG
WOMEN WHO ARE ANGRY, READ THIS PAGE! (ANGRY GUYS READ
Just talking about your anger will not help much. You
need some stronger tools. That is why you require a counselor
who has training to deal with the anger issues you have.
Don t be shy. Speak up and get the very best help for
yourself. You DESERVE it!
Do not turn to alcohol or drugs as a way to deal with
your pain. That will really mess you up and give you a
whole new set of problems to deal with. Anger usually
gets worse when you are drinking or on drugs.
Do not be discouraged. You are just starting to look at
the years of abuse you have suffered. You have a lifetime
to work this out. Others have come through what you have
and learned to deal with their anger.
The Lady Who Knows About Mads
I am sorry
that I hurt you at the Blues Festival when I got upset
and grabbed you and swore at you. I love you very much
and I don't want to hurt you in any way, and I don't want
to ever do that again so I am writing this letter to make
a start at dealing with my anger. I have lots of old stuff
that sticks in my head and I think because I had too much
to drink that night, and probably because of the way I
am feeling about what's happening with my daughter Katherine
and the business venture that I have taken on, it came
out. That was not a responsible way to handle what I was
feeling, and you do not deserve to be treated that way.
I don't want us to split up because of such a stupid act
on my part, and I will take the steps necessary to deal
with my resentments from the past that fuelled my anger
that you saw and felt.
I would like
to calmly explain to you the old feelings that I had as
a kid and the way I was treated. I think when you grabbed
my cap and then when you grabbed the cigarette that I
had in my mouth that I was going to light, that I reacted
to some of those old resentments. When I was a kid, I
always felt like I was not good enough, everyone was older
than me, and I got the feeling that I could never ever
do anything good enough. I felt that I was made fun of
by the older people in my life (my mom, my sister, my
brother, my older cousins, and older friends). You'll
notice that I did not include my DAD because I believe
that he was the only person in my life that I actually
believed loved me and did not treat me like a nobody.
I love him very much even though he has been dead for
27 years, and I miss him very very much. I would like
it very much if I could talk to him sometimes cause he
was the kind of person that would help you calmly figure
things out, and sometimes I need that. I hated the way
that I was treated, and I never felt that I could tell
anyone about it, I just had to keep taking it on the chin.
I still don't
understand why I had to get a beating every year on Christmas
Eve before I got my presents (what a strange and awful
custom that became). They probably don't even think they
were hurting me when they did it. Also, my opinion didn't
count, I just had to go along with whatever was decided
or chose not to be involved. I remember times when I just
sat behind the stove in the kitchen with my dog cause
I just wanted some peace from the misery. I loved my dog,
cause she liked me and accepted me as I was, even when
I got mad at her. Why couldn't the people in my life be
more like my DAD and my dog. Why couldn't they just accept
me for who and what I am and was and not use me as a target
for their jokes.
I also feel
guilty about what's happening with K. right now. It is
so hard to do what I am doing. I love my daughter very
much and I feel like I never had a good relationship with
either of my kids. I don't want them to hate me or ignore
me, so I feel I have to do things for them. Some times
the miles apart that we are from each other makes it hard.
I wish they were closer so that I could see them and talk
to them more often. I wish and hope that they understand
where I am coming from and that I only want the best for
both of them. I don't want to control them, or influence
them in any other than positive ways, by giving them encouragement
and praise for all the great things that they are doing.
I am sure that they feel bad enough about the things that
are not right in their life, they don't need to have it
emphasized by me.
I also feel
guilty about my inability to get my business venture off
the ground. I know that I am a very impatient person some
times and I have to take responsibility for that impatience
right now and try to do the things I can to deal with
what has to be done.
None of the
above things existed or were created by you, and you do
not deserve to feel my resentment about any of it. There
are proper and responsible ways to deal with that resentment
and I will take the steps to deal with that starting tomorrow.
I am going to book an appointment with the counselor we
have through work and start to deal with this stuff the
way it should be dealt with.
I know that
you may not trust me right now, so I will have to be patient,
and that is very hard for me. I love you very much and
I want to keep you in my life.
All my love
My most beloved
that I screamed at you and scared you. I'm sorry that
I spanked you so hard I left a red mark on your bottom.
You will never know the agony that caused me. I will never
touch you in anger again. I'm sorry that I haven't yet
learned better ways of dealing with my own anger. It's
my job to teach you about life and how to deal with it
and I'm not giving you a very good example. You're so
little and sweet and I'm so big and ugly when I get mad.
mommy is such a big and important job. I pray to God every
day to help me be patient and remember that you are only
a little boy, just learning about the world. It is my
goal to raise you without violence and yelling, unlike
what I experienced. You are my greatest gift, my greatest
love. I don't know why it is the things we love the most
that we also hurt the most. I need some help and I promise
you I will find it and I will never stop trying to be
the very best mommy I can be.
I love you
Mom im sorry
i called u names and said all the stupid things i said
I LOVE YOU !!!!!!!!!!
~*!~ S.D. C.
i accused her
of doing something she didn't and ended up hurting her
feelings with the whole trust issue thank you;
I'm sorry for always putting you down, and blaming you
for all my bad situations. I'm sorry for not forgiving
you for your past mistakes. I realize me being unhappy
with myself, that you could never make me happy. I'm sorry
for not accepting you for who you are. I'm sorry for trying
to change you. I want so much to be able to change my
actions, I want to be able to stop doing these things,
honey it is hard, so please forgive me, and in the future
please remind me of this. I don't like to hurt your feelings,
or anyone's. I Love You, and please forgive me honey,
I may not change, but I do realize I am wrong for not
working on my part Etc.
to Angries Out